~One Day, One Game, One Christmas, One Dog~

I was browsing and running through the list of friends that have blogs several days ago. I stopped at a familiar name, long forgotten. So I clicked the link to her multiply account, then entered her blog expecting an abandoned blog with the last entry dated months ago. But, surprisingly, it's well updated. Good job, girl!!

Her last post made me smile that day. It's about 20 people in her life; described one by one without stating the name of the person. As I looked through her list, number four sounds pretty familiar to me. Not wanting to be ge-er, I checked with her and I got a reply today saying that number 4 is indeed me!!! Yaaay!!! Two years of being together and four years apart, we're still in each other's heart.

So this is what she wrote:

"A new country, a new home, I knew no one. I was the only one from the Philippines but somehow we clicked. From two different countries but actually not too different from each other. One day, one game, one christmas, one dog. Through the years, we moved from place to place but our friendship always endured. We will meet again, don't worry :)"

Thanks Kaye for making my day! And Kospot says hi!

~Give for You Have Received~

Before this semester started, I set goals for myself. What do I want to do? What do I need to do? What things do I want to improve on? What gifts do I want to share? And what steps do I take in order to achieve my goals?

I listed my priorities and my interests. I allocate time for things that are for me, necessary in life, but not mandatory. For example, school and work are mandatory, for me, personally, it's not an option. Meanwhile, volunteering, pursuing interest, catching up with friends, being involved in organization, keeping in contact with family, spending time with God (aka my Daddy as Lisa would put it) are necessary. So, when planning my semester, I was so caught up in the fact that I have to have a so-called balanced life. And on top of all, I was pumped up at the possibility of excelling in all the areas that I want in my life.

Without really realising it, I'm slowly building up my pride. In fleet moments I would think of the praises that I'd received if I suceed in all those. And I seriously thought that I'd become a better person by having a my supposedly balanced life.

Then, last week at church, it hit me that I'm doing it all wrong. There's this lady who was introducing the ministries in the church and she gave a personal account of what 'ministry', 'serving', 'volunteering' and those along the line mean to her. A sentence from her that struck me is 'give because you've received.' And it hit me that I'm actually asking a lot back from what I'm doing in my life. I'm asking for lots of money when I graduate in the future and have a job, I'm searching for recognition for me deeds, I'm looking for personal satisfaction from excelling, and perhaps many more that I'm not even concious of.

So, I'm trying to remind myself to do because you've got a talent to do it. Give, because you have it abundantly. Love, because I have been loved. Do, give, love, period. Life's a lot simpler when you're not thinking of what's coming back to you.

~Love Song for #1~

by: Corrinne May

In the twinkling stars that dance like fireflies
In the blushing fruit that hangs upon the vine
In the face of a baby as he forms his first smile
I see you

In the whisper of the wind’s soft lullaby
In the laughter and the roar of the rushing tide
In the song of the sparrow as he takes his first flight
I hear you

Why do you hide among the nameless and forgotten
Why do you walk along these long forsaken roads
Calling to me in the hungry and the homeless
Calling me to water your thirst

So I’ll give you my heart and my song
In a world where so much is right but so much is wrong
Your love is my beginning and I know it won’t be too long
Till I see you

Why do you hide among the nameless and forgotten
Why do you walk along these long forsaken roads
Calling to me in the hungry and the homeless
Calling me to water your thirst

So I’ll give you my heart and my song
In a world where so much is right but so much is wrong
Your love is my beginning and I know it won’t be too long
Till I see you
I hear you
I love you

~Happy B'Day Grandpa~

Yesterday was my Opa's birthday!!! I don't know how old he is, I should really ask my mom. He's really old, though. I'm not sure if he's reached 80 already, but I'm pretty certain that he's somewhere around 75 to 79. And I'm positive that he's one of the greatest persons that I've met in my life.

My Opa is the one who thought me how to ride a bicycle. I remember him attaching the safety wheels on both sides of my bike and then removing them 1 by 1 after I'm confident enough. He's the one who ran behind my bike, holding the back of it and he's the first one who released it and saw me fell. But, he's also the one who finally, after all the hardwork, saw me pedal furiously without any help whatsoever.

As a child, I once got so angry at him for hurting me on purpose. And somehow, through the mystery of the science of mind and brain, this particular memory, among the fading others, is etched deeply in my head. I don't think I'll ever forget it and my children well definitely hear this story. So, I was around 6 and one of my front teeth was shaky. Somehow, I was pretty proud of it, always showing it to everyone and playing with it using my tounge. One day, I told my Opa about it and he said, "Show it to me." So, I grinned widely, showing of the tooth. He touched it gently, trying to feel how shaky it was. And unexpectedly, with a sudden, quick and strong jerk, he pulled off my tooth. And of course there I went crying and crying and shouting and crying some more. I hated him so much that night. But with a bit of coaxing from my mom I came to him that same night and said sorry for calling him mean. My mom said that it's cute that I had a window and now my tounge could peep out of it. And I was happy. Yes, that's how stupid I was.

I don't see him that much, especially since our family moved to Riau, and I moved to Singapore a few years after. So, no, I'm not that close to him. But, still, he one of my role models and one of the dearest persons I keep close in my heart. So, Opa, Happy Birthday again!!!

~Take my 5 loaves and 2 fishes~

Semester has started and it the first 3 days were rough. I had a misunderstanding with a friend and I was too sensitive toward the words that she's saying. So, I ended up thinking about it a lot and feeling so confused and down, while she, being not as sensitive, did not realize that she's hurting my feelings. Maybe I was being a drama queen, maybe not. I was pondering a lot whether I should talk to her about it, or just keep quiet and supress my feelings. If I talked to her, I'm in danger of ruining the friendship, but if I keep quiet, I wouldn't know what she's really thinking. So, summoning all the courage that I have, I went to meet her and took a few minutes to talk to her. Surprisingly, after a few awkward moments and a huge hearty hug, the problem is somewhat settled and I'm so glad that I still have her as a friend. I guess, the journey of a true friendship must survive some bumps along the way. :)))

I'm in love with Corrinne May's latest album, "Beautiful Seed," especially this one song ,"5 loaves and 2 fishes" that truly resonates with what I'm going through right now. Hmmm... a bit disappointed with the title though, because there's no such thing as fishes, fish is already a plural form. Somehow, I feel that Corrinne is a lot like me. Well, let me change that to sound a little bit more humble; I am a lot like Corrinne ;). I can really relate to most of her songs and they encourage me a lot. And Corrinne's from my secondary school...Yayyyy..

Five Loaves and Two Fishes
Corrinne May

A little boy of thirteen

was on his way to school

He heard a crowd of people laughing

and he went to take a look

Thousands were listening

to the stories of one man

He spoke with such wisdom,

even the kids could understand

The hours passed so quicklyt

he day turned to night

Everyone was hungry

but there was no food in sight

The boy looked in his lunchbox

at the little that he had

He wasn't sure what good it'd do

there were thousands to be fed

But he saw the twinkling eyes of Jesus

the kindness in His smile

and the boy cried out

with the trust of a child

he said:

"Take my five loaves and two fishes

Do with it as you will

I surrender

Take my fears and inhibitions

All my burdens, my ambitions

You can use it all

to feed them all"

I often think about that boy

when I'm feeling small

and I worry that the work I do

means nothing at all

But every single tear I cry

is a diamond in His hands

and every door that slams in my face

I will offer up in prayer

So I'll give you every breath that I have

Oh Lord, you can work miracles

All that you need is my "Amen"

Take my five loaves and two fishes

Do with it as you will

I surrender

Take my fears and inhibitions

All my burdens, my ambitions

You can use it all

I hope it's not too small

I trust in you

I trust in you

Take my five loaves and two fishes

Do with it as you will

I surrender

Take my fears and inhibitions

All my burdens, my ambitions

You can use it all

no gift is too small