Growing Out

In one of our conversations, my friend Resya and I once talked about the importance of your family background and connections. In the US, if your parent(s) is a professor in a university, you'll get free tuition to go to that university, given that you are capable to be admitted. Having professors as parents don't make you instantly smart, but it does set you up to be in that path. They will encourage you to read and explore. They know where the good schools are. And they have the money to send you there. So why the free tuition? Isn't that supposed to be directed to those with financial difficulties, those who haven't gotten such great moral support? But I understand that many times US universities are not purely about education; it's also about family tradition and networking. If you are the child of a president (of any country), for example, you'll get immediate admission to some Ivy Leagues. It doesn't matter if you can't count backwards or something like that, they need the relation to your daddy.

I wonder if we take a closer look at the current Indonesia's cabinet line-up, for example. How many ministers have parents who were diplomats/ex ministers/ex member of the parliement? That would be a good mini research project. I've always kind of hesitant and apprehensive when I meet somebody with famous high-ranked parents. My mind always thinks, "You are here by an easy route. Show me what you can do, only then would I appreciate you." Which is harsh, and at the same time very judgemental on my part. But, all my generalizations really melt when I know the person better. At Cornell, I met the grandson of Indonesia's ex president and also the son of one of the current ministers. No names mentioned :) but just in case they stumble upon this (hi guys!), I want to say for the records that they are great: smart, kind, friendly, kinda silly at times, and they work hard. So, lots of kudos for them!!! When I meet someone with a high rank or has parents in a high position, I will remember them and hope silently that he/she would be as good as them.

It's a little hard though, given the stereotypes that I have stamped on such people for a long time: connections get you to where you are, expensive stylish cars, average school grades, switching girl/boyfriends like clothes. How do I get that out of my mind when I do witness that generalization actually manifested with my own eyes? Just recently, actually. I just feel that as I grow up, I learn to grow out at the same time. Out of clear directed path that my parents have provided me, into one that I weed out myself. I may not be entirely successful at that even until when I'm a lot older later. But as a young person in an awkward phase trying to be an adult, I try to make my choices and take the consequences. I try to figure out what I really want instead of merely complying with what others want me to do. When you have such powerful rich parents, I understand that it would be somewhat harder to grow out of that comfortable and pruned path. But, connections could only take you so far. It would take you really far at times, but never all the way.

So, I don't know. I mean Resya and I were wondering that time, how on earth are we, the ones with 'regular' parents, are ever going to clear out this web of connectivity that hinders us from reaching any position (if we ever want to)? Could the tortoise really outpace the hare?