Advent 2020 Week 1: Juru Selamat

Banyak kata-kata yang kita sering sekali dengar, sampai maknanya hilang. Sampai saya tidak sadar lagi, sebetulnya ini maksudnya apa ya? Salah satunya adalah "Juru Selamat". Istilah lain yang menggunakan kata juru itu biasanya juru kunci, seperti Almarhum Mbah Maridjan, yang sekarang digantikan anaknya Mbah Asih. Atau ada juga juru masak alias koki. Dan tentunya kita mengenal sekolah kejuruan, yang mana melatih murid-muridnya untuk menjadi ahli dalam bidang tertentu. 

Jadi kata "juru" bisa diartikan seorang yang pandai / ahli / terampil. Ketika dipadukan dengan "Selamat", ya maksudnya adalah seseorang yang ahli dalam menyelamatkan orang lain. Mungkin seharusnya ini dinobatkan ke orang-orang seperti dokter ya, atau mungkin para life guard seksi ala Baywatch? 

Di era pandemi seperti ini, tentunya kita semua sangat membutuhkan si Juru Selamat. Kita mengharapkan keluarga kita selalu sehat, bisnis kita tidak hancur, kita tidak dipecat. Apalagi sekarang masuk musim penghujan, sehingga orang berdoa agar tidak banjir, lampu tidak mati terus. Begitu banyak ketakutan di tahun 2020 ini. Kita seperti diterjang dari semua sisi. Tuhan seperti sedang balas dendam. Lalu kalau Juru Selamat itu adalah Tuhan Yesus, bagaimana kita justru memanggil dia kalau merasa semua ini adalah karena Tuhan yang sedang marah? Orang sedang ngamuk kok malah didatangi, apa tidak cari masalah namanya.

Di masa Advent ini, kita mulai merenungkan kembali, Tuhan Yesus yang sering kita panggil sebagai Juru Selamat ini, sebetulnya datang mau menyelamatkan apa, ya? Saya membaca kalau ya dia menyelamatkan kita dari hal-hal yang buruk di mata manuisia. Karena dia Tuhan, sekali sentuh saja bakteri pada kocar-kacir sehingga orang-orang langsung sembuh. Ketika sedang badai, dia datang dan suruh angin diam. Memang, dia seperti tombol emergency, datang ketika kita butuh agar keadaan yang kacau menjadi baik lagi. Tapi sesungguhnya, yang paling utama dari semua itu adalah dia datang menyelamatkan kita dari diri kita sendiri.

Semakin dewasa saya juga semakin menyadari bahwa musuh terbesar saya adalah diri saya sendiri. Saya perlu diselamatkan dari dosa-dosa saya, sungguh. Contoh kecil adalah di kantor. Di situasi yang terjepit dan banyak kesalahan, saya sering kesal dan marah. Begitu juga dengan orang lain atau atasan-atasan yang mungkin memberikan tekanan dan marah sama saya. Suasananya jadi tidak nyaman, saya tergoda lihat-lihat kerjaan lain, atau saya pulang lelah rasanya. Saya berdoa Tuhan tolong kasih kelancaran bagi pekerjaan saya, lindungi kami, semoga di rapat saya tidak dipermalukan. Semua doa saya intinya Tuhan tolong sertai dan selamatkan saya dari hal-hal jahat. Namun saya lupa berdoa diselamatkan dari dosa-dosa saya sendiri, yang mungkin berpikiran negatif terhadap orang lain, memiliki sumbu yang pendek, sulit memaafkan kesalahan orang, bersungut-sungut, bergosip, memandang rendah diri saya sendiri, dan lain-lain. Semua itu dosa-dosa saya yang sulit sekali saya usahakan untuk berubah dan memerlukan karunia Tuhan. Saya rasa kalau saya bebas dari dosa-dosa itu, dengan sendirinya hari-hari saya lebih ringan, ya.

Kembali ke 2020 tahun yang lalu, ke seorang anak muda bernama Yusuf. Si tukang kayu yang syok mau pingsan ketika tahu bahwa pacarnya hamil. Mana pacarannya baru sebentar lagi kan, terus orang tuanya marah-marah, dan orang tua Yusuf sendiri malu banget. Dan Yusufnya sendiri juga mau marah dong, karena udah jelas bukan dia yang ngehamilin, ini punya pacar kegatelan sama cowok mana nih? Drama, ya, guys. Tapi di pesan malaikat untuk Yusuf, dikatakan dengan jelas bagaimana Yusuf harus bersikap, dan juga mengapa Tuhan datang.

"Yusuf, anak Daud, janganlah engkau takut mengambil Maria sebagai isterimu, sebab anak yang di dalam kandungannya adalah dari Roh Kudus. Ia akan melahirkan anak laki-laki dan engkau akan menamakannya Dia Yesus, karena Dialah yang akan menyelamatkan umat-Nya dari dosa mereka."(Matius 1:20-21)

Bukan dari wabah penyakit, dari bencana alam, dari masalah-masalah keluarga dan pertemanan, dari hutang-hutang kita yang tidak kebayar-bayar, apalagi dari isu-isu cemen di kantor atau kegalauan kita akan masa depan. Tapi menyelamatkan kita dari dosa-dosa kita, alias dari kebobrokan diri kita sendiri.

Bukankah itu juga yang kita doakan ketika kita berdoa Bapa Kami? "Ampunilah dosa kami.... Bebaskan kami dari yang jahat..." Karena itulah akar dari penderitaan kita, ketika kita jauh dari Tuhan dan dikelilingi ego dan dosa kita sendiri. 

Masa Advent ini adalah masa penantian akan kedatangan Juru Selamat kita. Secara simbolik tentunya karena Tuhan Yesus sudah datang. Namun masa ini digunakan untuk mengingatkan kita kembali tentang apa yang kita nanti-nantikan, tentang bagaimana Dia datang dan masuk dalam hidup kita. Jangan tunggu Natal tiba, pelan-pelan buka pintu. Kalau belum siap, buka jendela dulu, Seberapa berantakannya hati kita, belum kita pel, pecahan kaca di mana-mana, senjata pembunuhan yang belum sempat kita sembunyikan, ga papa. Karena, justru itulah kenapa Tuhan Yesus datang.

Buat bantuin kita bersih-bersih.

Happy Advent Week 1, everybody!

Refleksi Bos Bos

 Saya beruntung, dikelilingi banyak orang-orang yang menginspirasi selama saya bekerja. Semua orang adalah tempat belajar tidak peduli apa role dia di pekerjaan dan saya pun selalu ingin menjadi orang yang tetap belajar. Kadang saya terlupa, apalagi ketika sedang sibuk, frustasi, atau merasa lelah saja dengan rutinitas, kalau saya harus lebih baik dari hari ke hari, kalau ilmu teknis dan ilmu hidup seluas jagat raya dan saya boleh istirahat tapi lalu bergerak lagi. 

Di kesempatan hari ini saya tergerak untuk merefleksikan beberapa hal yang saya perhatikan dan pelajari dari orang-orang di sekitar saya yang memegang role sebagai "bos", baik bos saya sendiri (yang sekarang ataupun yang lalu) dan juga bos-bosnya orang lain yang saya sering bertemu / meeting bareng. Kembali lagi, bukan artinya mereka paling hebat ya, karena ilmu datang dari siapa saja. Tapiiiii... dari intip2an saya, menjadi mereka itu berat, beban yang ditanggung datang dengan segala stress nya. Mereka hebat, tapi mereka juga manusia, ada takutnya, ada pusingnya, banyak resikonya, dan kadang tidak terbayangkan juga untuk saya. Dan beberapa hal ini menjadi catatan kecil saya hari ini tentang hal kepemimpinan secara umum yang saya dapatkan dari mereka-mereka para bos-bos.

1. Cara marah yang baik dan benar

Saya pernah dimarahin dengan kasar di telpon oleh salah satu bos (dianya mungkin lupa ya, tapi buat saya membekas jleb jleb banget). Saya tahu dia frustasi, tapi saya pun kaget banget karena telpon ini datang tiba-tiba, malam-malam, dan ketika saya dinas. Telpon itu lalu ditutup tanpa salam apa pun, sementara saya hanya bisa ternganga semalaman.

Saya juga pernah dimarahin dengan tidak kasar. Ceritanya di meeting cukup besar, kami semua sudah bersiap kena damprat. Namun ternyata si bos ini sudah tidak bisa marah lagi dan memberikan wejangan bahwa kami semua masing-masing merenungkan deh, apa yang buat projek ini tidak jalan. Silahkan pergi libur Lebaran, dan semoga kembali masing-masing bisa berkoordinasi dengan lebih baik. Saya pun ternganga seharian.

Sampai sekarang saya tidak tahu apakah ada cara marah yang baik dan benar. Saya cukup sering ngomel selama ini dan termasuk yang tidak sabaran, saya kalau ngomong jarang filter dan kesulitan mencari kata2 yang pantas. Saya pun tidak melihat kondisi orang yang saya "marahin", psikologis dia gimana, tipe personality dia gimana, semua orang saya sama ratakan. Pada akhirnya saya merasa "marah" saya sebetulnya tidak efektif dan condong jadi tontonan orang saja.

Kalau ditanya dari 2 jenis marah yang saya alami di atas, mana yang lebih mengena untuk saya? Dua-duanya mengena dan jleb banget. Namun kalau saya bisa menarik pembelajaran, pertama marahlah untuk hal yang sangat substansial dan bukan merujuk ke hal personal / meremehkan / menyindir / mempermalukan seseorang. Dan yang kedua terkadang tidak marah adalah jenis marah yang paling baik :)

2. Level kedetailan dan konsentrasi

Kemarin, saya me-whatsapp salah satu bos, mengingatkan beliau akan beberapa memo yang sudah cukup lama terparkir di meja beliau dan butuh approval. Saya dijawab agak lama, mengkonfirmasi memo apa yang saya maksud dan kemudian saya terangkan. Lalu diam lagi dan tiba2 jam 8 malam beliau mengabarkan bahwa sebagian sudah direview dan sudah OK dan sebagian lagi akan direview besok. Saya terkejut agak merasa tidak enak karena terbayangkan betapa sibuknya beliau sampai akhirmya menyempatkan mereview di malam hari dan juga reviewnya cukup detail.

Lalu setelah itu, di jam 11 malam, seorang bos yang berbeda mengontak saya juga terkait memo dari saya yang dikirimkan ke beliau. Memo itu menurut saya tidak sepenting itu sehingga harus malam itu juga dibalas. Dan juga tidak dengan cepat ditandatangan namun ada komentar yang menurut saya cukup mengesankan karena beliau ingat detail tertentu sehingga menanyakan kembali pada komentar beliau.

Saya agak malu dengan diri saya sendiri karena, satu, saya jarang bekerja lewat dari jam 7 malam. Tentunya masing-masing ada pertimbangan tersendiri bagaimana mengatur waktu sesuai dengan beban kerja yang ada, namun melihat bos-bos ini aktif sampai larut malam membuat saya kagum akan semangat bekerjanya terutama karena mereka juga sudah tidak usia muda lagi. Kedua, karena mereka sangat detail, bahkan terkadang saya heran karena seharusnya level detail ini dikerjakan oleh staffnya dan mereka hanya di level yang lebih strategis lagi. Namun pada kenyataan, mereka sangat berusaha untuk mengetahui jelas luar dan dalam perkara-perkara sehingga dapat mempertanggungjawabkan apa pun yang berada di bawah mereka. Saya sendiri merasa keteteran dalam detail2 yang harus saya pegang dan termasuk merasa frustasi karena menurut saya tim sudah bisa mengurus itu sendiri. Bagaimana mungkin seseorang menguasai strategis sampai ke detail pelaksanaan dengan cakupan geografis yang luas?

Menyeimbangkan hal-hal ini menjadi sesuatu yang baru dan menjadi tantangan tersendiri bagi saya. Untuk belajar paham ke level yang cukup granular tapi juga memaafkan diri sendiri ketika itu tidak terjadi. Untuk paling tidak lebih detail dari bos-bos itu, karena memang hakekatnya begitu. Masak mereka yang lebih detail sih? Balik lagi, muka saya mau ditarok di mana ya ini?

3. Hidup sehat jasmani rohani

Ada satu orang bos yang tiap hari olahraga baik ke gym maupun lari. Ada juga yang bersepeda rame-rame dengan tetangganya. Ada yang instagramnya kocak penuh video beliau bersantai di hari Sabtu. Ada yang main bola sama anak-anaknya. Lalu saya teringat Michelle dan Barrack Obama yang setiap hari selalu menyelipkan waktu olahraga setengah hingga 1 jam.

Mungkin biasa saja bagi orang yang melihat mereka seperti itu. Tapi bagi "orang dalam" yang mengetahui sebetulnya masalah apa yang sedang terjadi di kantor (belum lagi masalah di luar kantor), kok rasanya heran bagaimana mereka seolah tanpa masalah. Seolah sekat itu jelas sekali: pagi ini saya masuk kamar pekerjaan, siang kamar makan enak, sore kamar jalan-jalan seru dengan teman-teman, malam kamar keluarga. Dan setiap berpindah kamar, sepertinya bisa melupakan apa yang terjadi di kamar sebelah.

Hal ini mungkin harus dilatih terus-menerus, dan seiring pengalaman, saya pun menyadari hal-hal yang saya kuatirkan, tidak juga terjadi, jadi buat apa dikuatirkan berjam-jam. Masalah pun terlihat lebih ringan ketika kita sudah keluar ruangan lalu jalan kaki 1 jam karena endorfin kita naik, dan sambil jalan kita pelan-pelan lihat kehidupan lain di luar masalah kita sehingga perspektif kita berubah, dan lain-lain. Karena semakin dipikirin, semakin butek ya kadang. Mental ini yang perlahan terus diadopsi, agar kerja juga gembira, masalah jadi biasa, dan hidup lebih luas daripada di depan laptop saja.

Segitu dulu refleksi bos-bos ini lah ya, nanti kapan-kapan disambung lagi. Semoga dengan berlatih, kita semua lebih fasih dalam hidup, tidak terbata-bata dalam memimpin, lebih damai ketika tidur. 

Cheers!

Suicide Prevention Day 2019

First of all, if you have suicidal thoughts, let me say that I am sorry the world has been so harsh. I am sorry that people around has been insensitive and ignorant to your pain. And I plead with all your remaining strength, love yourself the hardest that you can and reach out to somebody. Because, you are always worth the fight and the feelings and thoughts you have at any point are never eternal.

I came into a counselling room the first time around 10 years ago. I was so ashamed and I felt like a crazy broken person who just couldn't patch herself together. At that time I was doing a Master's thesis at Cornell, one of the Ivy League's school in the US. Which meant that I was super smart, on a path of success, has little to worry, and by all definition should not be in that counselling room. But, there I was in front of a psychologist and a generic white tissue box.

This week we heard a news of the suicide case of Mr. Gregory Eells who passed on Monday morning in Philadelphia. He was the head of mental health services at University of Pennsylvania and started working there in March this year. Before that, he was the head of Counselling and Psychological Services at Cornell for a good 15 years. When I entered that counselling room for the first time, Mr. Eells was heading that department. It was a very important department for me because there I received help from a young Asian American counselor; indirectly, I received help from Mr. Eells. 

I cannot imagine the grief felt by  his family right now; all the thoughts of could haves and would haves that are most probably torturing. All the unanswered questions that would remain so for a long time if not forever. As an outsider, the case is baffling. How can somebody who has worked on mental health for as long as he did suffered tremendously from mental health? How can a person who has helped countless students, unable to also get the good help for himself?

The questions above were also questions on other people who seemed to just be the last person ever who would have committed suicide or has a mental health problem. Take Robin Williams (how can a very funny cheerful man had done so?) or Kristen Bell (a beautiful Disney princess having depression?). But, questions like these exactly point out the fact that mental health is so much deeper and so much hidden that what appears in somebody's lives. The shame associated with it is also too huge for people to carry around bare. 

We live in a world where we are always defined; by society and by our own selves through certain standards and dreams that are somehow etched in our head. When we fail that standard things start unraveling. I am not good enough, I am not loved, I am a failure, I am not worth it, I do not belong, I am doing bad, the world would be better if I am not here. We fear things that may not be true, we assume about what others may think and say, we see only the good side of other people's lives. Mental health issues are these, and so much more, and at a complexity a lay person may not understand. I am not saying that getting professional help is the only and the best solution, but it is one of it. It is an emergency button one should chance if possible.

The second time I went to a psychologist was around 5 years ago. At that time she offered me to take medicine to complement the sessions. I did not want to, because I did not want to feel like I was "crazy" or I did not want to acknowledge any level of its severity. At work, a female director whom I worked with before passed my table when I was working over time and casually asked how I was doing. I told her frankly how I was  and so she sometimes would look out for me. About a couple months after when I was coping better she invited me for lunch. In our conversation, in the kindest way possible she told me to think whether the type of job I was was right for me. In other words, I might not be a good fit for the company. In other words, the company might not be a good fit for me. She turned out to be right. Not everything fits us, and when it doesn't, we suffer.

Human beings are complex. We get overwhelmed by many reasons: grief, work, family matters, finances, studies, traumatic experiences, death, sickness, gloomy weather, parenthood, loneliness, failures, romantic relationships, the news, anything really. There will be times when things get too much to bear and we have to take care of ourselves exactly like we do when we are sick. There is no shame, nothing odd in getting sick, and it is not terminal, we will get better.

I do not know Mr. Eells and all the burdens he faced. I wished at least he realized that he helped people and he helped me, and that is in itself a life worth living. 

Remember to always be kind to people around you and be kind especially to yourself. Get as much fresh air as possible daily. Call your friends and loved ones. Watch your favorite movie and read your favorite book. When your environment is toxic, may you have the courage to leave. And may nothing else is valued more than your own well being, physical and emotional. 

Chilling in Dieng

Nature does not label, it does not judge, it does not ask. It let you be.

I came to Dieng, the marshy plateau in Central Java near Wonosobo, at a time where I was not sure of myself. Work related issues have consumed me the past days before and I was surrounded in the office by what I presume as rumors and talks about me. I was agitated and on my toes. At times, it felt like people hated me, although, I am sure most part is fiction I wrote in my head.

I came to Dieng with friends I knew 14 years back when we entered college together. I looked forward to meeting them and simply laughed together; but I also knew that with these two I could discuss deeper matters (mostly over delicious food). One of my biggest blessings in life is having quite a few of this kind of friends. And Dieng in itself, is a charming place, at quite a high altitude, enough to chill any shaken soul.

I know nature to be a healing place: haphazardly balanced, always having space for all hues of color, full of acceptance. I know it as a source of love. With its beauty and consistency, I am forever amazed at its persistence in taking care of people.

We went to seek the sunrise at Sikunir Hill on a Friday morning to avoid the weekend crowd. It was the easier option for the morning hike of about 20 - 30 minutes as compared to the Prau Mountain which needed higher physical prepraration and an overnight stay. The pathway was well established with stairs and handrails and had two stops, so if you are tired you can opt to see the sunrise from the 1st stop. We arrived at the top at about 4.30 am and waited under a gushing cold wind until the dark sky turned orange and red and blue and other mix of colors that were pretty much nameless. The feeling of insignificance in the midst of giant mountains and outdoor vastness was worth the hike and the morning rise. It was as if my successes and my failures, both do not matter in the grand scheme of things; and it was a liberation. It was as if "I" do not matter, in a weirdly positive and encouraging way.

Food in Dieng revolves around potatoes, carica (mountain papaya), and mie ongklok. Mie ongklok for me was just OK, mainly because it broth was thick and I was not used to the texture. Despite of that, it is definitely worth the try. One of the best part of the trip surprisingly was the place that we stayed at and the hospitality of the owner. We booked the place through AirBnB and it was located quite centrally in Wonosobo (although the town itself was small and everything was pretty much central). It was a 2 bedroom house nestled in a pretty packed housing area. The inside was basic and clean and eclectic with various personal collection of vintage decor. Our favorite part was the back porch which overlooked the city and had a big table where we could chill. Highly recommended.

Short drives within Dieng area were several tourism spots. We went to Candi Arjuna which was a Hindu Temple from the 8th century, kawah Sikidang, and also to Telaga Warna which exuded several shades of color. Since we beat the crowd, places to take great photos were abundant and we also visited a couple of waterfalls. There were entry fees to each of these sites but they were relatively cheap.

Wonosobo is about 3 hours away from Semarang and 4 hours from Jogjakarta by car. Our driver was a contact we had from the AirBnB owner and it shouldn't be hard to get a driver around the area. We went back via Semarang and on the way there we passed other small cities like Ambarawa and Ungaran.

Absolutely loved this short and sweet escapade. It helped me unwind, just to see a type of life so near, yet so different, and more serene inside and out. To wake up to misty mornings and receive the cold, the mysteries, and all the things they would unfold.

Everyday they do this: the rise and fall of day. The mountains, the waters, the plantations, the harvests, the wind, its whistle, the girls, their laughter; they cradled me. Thank you.

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*Accommodation: Omah Adem Ayem Wonosobo
*Transportation: Train from Jakarta to Semarang, driver Bowo 082221854044
*Culinary spots: Mie Ongklok Pak Muhadi, Mie Ongklok Longkrang
*Places to visit: Bukit Sikunir, Kawah Sikidang, Telaga Warna, Air Terjun Sikarim, Kebun Teh Tambi
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On Navigating a Mother Daughter Relationship

I once heard that parenting never stops even when your child has grown into adulthood. I am far from being a parent although most of my friends have two kids by now. I don’t understand how it feels to hold something you borne, how you would trade your life for your children, how somehow their pain would hurt you more. It is a form of love I don’t get to exude right now but I have been very lucky to be at the receiving end of it.

My mom and I have a positive relationship. We are close to each other and love each other dearly. But like any relationship it is not all smooth sailing. I have made her cry more than needed. No, not the oh-my daughter-has-finally-graduated-how-I-am-so-proud kind of cry. Sure, she has those moments too, very well thank you. But sometimes it happens that I would just disregard her or make her feel insignificant or feel not necessarily needed, she might question her whole existence and plummet into her mid life post power syndrome depression. I am that mighty.

Long term relationship changes with time. In this case, most probably I am the one who significantly change it. The me 15 years ago, around the time I left home for high school could not possibly be the same as the adult that I am now. While my mom, though has changed as well, remains in her adulthood stage. Since I came back and started staying with my parents about 5 years ago, my mom and I began navigating a tricky relationship of two grown women with their own stubborn minds. No longer am I easily controlled, no longer she can play the role of the nourishing and protective  provider. No longer we are the pair we used to know.

I remember when I started making money and I could buy things for myself. She told me that she felt like she was irrelevant since she wanted to still buy me things but I didn’t need that anymore. Many more or less similar incidents occur since then. Many times I have been insensitive and too focused on what I wanted without the effort to understand what she is going through. My biggest frustration unfortunately lies in the small things: she packing my socks, keeping my items stored, telling me how to do things, tucking in my shirt before I leave for work. Which leads to seemingly silly but often fights and snappy comments from my side.

Most of the times I feel guilty after our fights and seeing her hurt. Or perhaps realizing that she might not have enough support system to help her figure this out – people don’t often talk or share about these things. In my gnarly moments though I just couldn’t help it; I hated being treated like I am still 12. We are both learning about this new buds in our relationship. Unfortunately, not all buds blossom. Many fell before their time before some of it can crack open.

It was the day that I was leaving for a 10 day trip and I had always been a last minute packer which my mom hated. We had quite a sizeable fight that day because I didn’t want to be helped, but being the annoying self that I am I troubled her with emergency packing needs an hour before I was supposed to leave. She was frustrated because I rejected most of her help offers and blamed her on many fronts for the things I couldn’t find; I was frustrated because she kept on telling me how to pack. I was planning to bring a backpack and already had it ready and filled. She came in and suggested (which appeared as a meddling to me) to bring a luggage instead so I didn’t need to carry a heavy sack). Not wanting to aggravate things I complied and moved my stuff to the luggage. But we were still fighting and I left the house on a very sour note. When I left, my mom was crying and said she felt so rejected. She told me to have fun and not worry about her.

Five year on I don’t know how we seem to still be on square one on this matter. How are we such a slow learners and very stingy on compassion. I left with guilt on my heart but at the same time anger with my adulthood being violated (again). When I arrived in the airport I took two luggages out of the taxi; one was the midsized one that I would put in as checked in baggage and the other the smaller one my mom suggested to bring. In my heart I grumbled; had I not listen to mom I would only need to roll one luggage and now my two hands were full and I walked awkwardly with two. Perhaps it was convenient in the aiport after I checked one in but how troublesome it would be later on when I take the trains and move from one place to the other. I regreted it so much and I wished she would just had left me packing on my own.

Earlier on that day, I was in an important meeting. The project that I was involved in was in a crossroad as the many departments involved failed to work well together. It was the day before the long Lebaran holiday. Everybody had prepared presentation for the meeting with the big boss. My director had asked me to prepare a history on how we were unable to deliver things on time (the finance department had been slow in paying our consultant, the work request was unclear and the scope kept changing, etc). I had narrated a story with minimum fault on our side. We had all settled in when the big boss came in and he said, “We are keeping this meeting short, 30 minutes max. I just want that each department reflect and do some introspection. Nobody is wrong, yet somehow here we are in a mess.We meet again in 2 weeks to talk it out. Just reflect. If you think that the demand in this project is impossible, we will go together to the owner and explain it.” I came into that morning meeting with a bag of amunition and with a shield to protect me from flying arrows. There was no war that morning because we came out of the room like a bunch of bamboo eating pandas – all calm and slightly fluffed up.

What he said stuck with me through afternoon, through the evening after my fight with mom. I ordered coffee in the airport, sat down,  finished a little work, my carry on luggage beside me. I have cursed it enough if it had legs it would have run home instead. I was sure I was still going to curse it throughout my trip as I drag it on pebbled sidewalks. But perhaps it would be reminder as I have this thing for 10 days to have the “presence” of my mom travelling along with me. To do my own introspection and reflect on what has happened as I carry it up the stairs to my AirBnB room. To have its inconvenience crawl up my back. To have this sizable tangible object on what my mother’s deep love and care for me can look and feel like. We all need some thinking on what we have said and done (and on what we do not say and do not do for that matter).

Relationships that really matter would hurt you. Relationships that really matter plough over your top soil until you become fertile ground for other living things to grow. My mom is not mother Mary, and I am definitely not a periwinkle twinkling fairy. The grown woman that I am would not bicker so much (and can plan better for trips). The wise woman that my mom is can give other people space. I am learning to be grown and my mom is learning to be wise. In the meantime,our mistakes crash into each other like two drunk drivers ashamed at their relapse. We will do better next time.

Thirty

Many people welcomed me to the the Thirty Club yesterday. What choice do I have but to enter it with a slightly forced gladness :)

In a way it feels weird. Like a mix of disbelief and a feeling of being rooted. In one way thirty just sounds so old, but at the same time it feels stable and I feel at ease. It's like you've changed all your plastic wares to glass wares. And the feeling when you say something and feeling confident about it because you know what you are saying is true. Like when you are given a task and know how to do it, instead of frantically turning to Google. It's knowing that you are short and it's not gonna change ever and it's totally OK. It's being comfortable saying "I don't know" and not trying hard to sound smart all the time. It's also being comfortable accepting that you are actually smart and not bashfully rejecting compliments. It's acceptance of vulnerabilities and shortcomings and shouting "Score!!" to your winning qualities.

I remember being in primary school and seeing my cousin turning 20, and felt like she was so mature. And then I turned 20 and felt so far from being mature. I remember entering college at that age and meeting people who was already working and being in their mid/late 20s. I looked at them with adoring eyes, turned to them for advice, and felt like they were so mature. Then I turned 27 and felt so lost. I guess we as humans are trained well to show others that we got it all together. I now know that nobody gets it all together. Not even Oprah. So the next time I meet someone who seem like they've figured it all out and I'm gonna say, "Nice pretending, dude".

So, things are still messy and I am still kiddish. But more and more I am able to enjoy where I am and who I am, awkward, introvert, goofy and all. And for a moment now I feel like having the clear sky post thunder storm, the cool down after the effervescent. As if my heart has just joined my head for a warm jacuzzi and they are bromancing real tight over a glass of wine. I am winking to the Man above, signaling the OK sign, mouthing thank you for always having my back.

Looking forward to whatever comes. Cheers!

Enjoying Kaliandra Sejati

I am always in for some relaxing holiday in hidden gems of Indonesia. Based on information from a dear friend, I was off to Pasuruan, to a eco-tourism resort named Kaliandra Sejati. It is half business and half a foundation to help the villagers around the area to earn more income.

In an area of about 40 ha, Kaliandra Sejati provides lodging facilities from a dorm style up to a grand suite in a European style mansion. It also has a wellness center some massages and this weird treatment called enzyme therapy, a gym, 2 swimming pools, and outbound arena for flying fox and wall climbing. They run some in-house activities like batik and clay-making classes, gamelan and Javanese dances classes and also outdoors ones such as trekking and cycling. It's safe to say that it has something for everyone and once you are in the complex, you're in for a treat.

Put your Zen mode on

I came in through Malang and you can either charter a taxi from the airport for Rp. 320,000 or go the cheapskate way which is go to Arjosari bus station (taxi of Rp. 65.000), take the Surabaya bound bus (it's comfortable with AC, at Rp. 25.000), tell the driver that you are getting off at Pasar Palang, and take an ojek (Rp. 20,000) to Kaliandra. The bus will drop you off at an intersection of Jalan Pasar Palang and right there is already where the ojek drivers are.

When I arrived I was greeted with the usual Indonesian friendliness that I always know. After checking in, I set course for a tour to the organic farming that Kaliandra manages. It is a certified organic farm, where farmers from nearby villages gets 2 or 3 greenhouse plots to manage. Kaliandra provides the infrastructure, seed, composting facilities, training, and markets the product as well. The farmers will sell to Kaliandra at a price set to offset all the farming costs.

I was taken around by Mas Aji, who explained to me that most people know organic farming as just not using chemical fertilisers and pesticides. But in actuality it's much more than that. Not only the product is organic, but the process is also organic, meaning that farmers need to make sure that the biological function of the soil remains (which may not be achieved through using pots) and make sure that other animals/plants are not killed in the process of saving the produce. In using natural ways of avoiding pests, he explained that there are 3 principles: smell, taste, and colour/light. Some pests would not go near lavender for example for the smell, or would be attracted to lights and therefore move away from the plants.

One of the farmers showing some TLC

Almost ready for harvest. So fresh, I feel like pouring Caesar dressing then and there.

I asked why organic produce is much more expensive when farmers don't need to buy chemicals. I could see his face filled up with passion, "Of course it's more expensive... there's a lot more hours put into it by the farmers..." Turns up, in a nut shell, the difference is in the TLC, touch love and care, given by growers. For a regular farmer, when he/she knows there are pests around, he/she will spray on the pesticides, leave it a night, and find the plants pest-free the next day. For an organic farmer, he/she has to really know what kind of pests, in which plant, is it already spreading, and monitor it closely day by day. We're paying for his/her hours; fair enough.

After visiting the farm, I walked around the other side of the area to Villa Leduk, an orange mansion with European architecture where the founder, Atamdja Tjiptobiantoro, stays at from time to time. He used to be a successful businessman and when retired he sold his companies to his brother and decided to do something that is meaningful. When I asked several staff what he's like, they all said that he is soft spoken and super nice. He would hold meetings with the different departments when he's around; it takes around 200 employees to run this place. Villa Leduk can be enjoyed from the outside, but can be opened to use for occasions such as pre-wed. It is also the location used in the movie "Tenggelamnya Kapan Van Der Wick" which I would want to watch after this.

The front view of Villa Leduk

The view from Hastinapura area

The day after, in the morning, I walked around another side of the Kaliandra called the Hastinapura area where the cottages are. Those are for fancier rooms or bungalow with 2 or 3 rooms, which would be perfect for family holidays. The area is higher up so the view is nicer. Somewhere on the way to Hastinapura is the gym and pool. The gym is quite small but it has all the basic gym equipment, and can also hold a yoga class by request for a minimum of 5 people. I decided to do a bit of running on the treadmill for some sweat before I treat myself for a relaxing massage.

I've booked an hour long massage, actually not really expecting much. They probably employ ibu-ibu from around the area who have massage experience before. Boy, I was wrong. For an eco-resort in the middle of (almost) nowhere, they really run their wellness centre professionally and whole-heartedly. The massage bed was a real massage bed (I don't know why I'm so impressed given it's what it's supposed to have, but I am!!), and Mbak Windra who was my masseuse got a real massage training and I can tell you that she's really good.

There are about 40 peacocks, 15 deers, and 15 turkeys in the area. Mount Arjuna on the background, providing 60% of water in the East Java province.

It was a short stay of 2 days 1 night, but it's definitely a good, relaxing one, surrounded by peacocks, deers, and of course friendly people. And I absolutely love what the place does for the people around it. As an nation depending so much on rural economy, we should support our agriculture in any way that we can. Be attentive to what you buy and eat, explore other parts of Indonesia outside the malls, and understand how nature provides great things for us.

OK, I am sounding more like a yogi by the second. But, I guess, it's because for a Jakartan like me, nature can become either a luxury or something totally irrelevant. For me, I choose the first.
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For more information, visit: www.kaliandrasejati.org

Two Days in Batu, Malang

Wowsie, it has been a while since I write. I've been actually making a lot of trips in recent times and just want to post this trip I had about a month ago to Batu, Malang. The trip was short, only a couple of days, but Batu is a small city; so if you are travelling without kids, you can actually finish all attraction in 2 days.

Due to certain airport inconveniences, our flight from Jakarta to Malang was actually re-routed to Surabaya. So we decided to stay in Surabaya for a night, and took the earliest train from Surabaya to Malang the next day.

Getting to Batu from Malang

Early on a Sunday, we got to the train station in Malang and wanted to take a taxi to Batu. Unfortunately it was quite pricey and nobody wanted to use the taxi meter. Know that once you are out of the station, you will be bombarded by taxi drivers, angkot drivers, becak drivers. Just be prepared for that. We decided to be adventurous and took the angkot instead. Just ask around for the angkot that ends in Landungsari, and from there you will have to change to another angkot that will take you to Batu. We were quite lucky that the angkot driver that we took was willing to actually go all the way to Batu (of course at an added fee), drop us in our hotel to check in and then take us to Jatim Park 2. Yaynesss!!!

Three Main Attractions

Jatim Park 2



One would of course be Jatim Park 2. It's huuuuugeee!!!! And a lot better than the Safari Park in Jakarta, or even the one in Bali. Totally worth the money. Entering the park you will be greeted by the assorted species of monkeys, and there are loads of animals to see there after. I like that it's cheap (Rp. 10,000) to take pictures with some animals up close and the park rangers are so friendly, they allow you to take as many pics as you like.

Once in the park, don't forget to take the safari, which will be similar to the safari in Jakarta, but much more fun because you'll ride an open buggy train and the animals will get a lot closer to you. The location is a bit hidden I suppose and we queued up for it without knowing what to expect. But I will tell you that it's a highlight of the park, please don't miss it. It's in the play arena where the roller coaster and the haunted house are.

After the park we also visited the museum, but it's a lot less exciting to be honest. More suited for school trips for students.

Museum Angkut

Batu is a small city, so it's easy to go from Jatim Park 2 to Museum Angkut, probably 10 minutes, and again we took the local angkot. Museum Angkut is a really fun place. Again it's huge! First there is the indoor exhibition of vintage cars and then you go up for more of the aeroplanes displays. And I thought that that was it. But then, we went outside and there is the start of the more interesting picture worthy scenes where you can see some more traditional transportation modes, more cars, bikes, bicycles and the lot.



We were there in the afternoon and waited until 6 for the parade. I think they have it every weekend and also during the holidays. It's basically about 30-40 people in a crowd, dressed in different costumes, dancing and singing. And you can tell that it's Indonesia where people started partying and dancing to Dangdut songs.

Paragliding

I absolutely loved that we went paragliding, although it is a little expensive at Rp. 400,000. But you are buying the thrill and the experience. We booked to go paragliding about a week before at xxx.com. Or you can call / whatsapp at . The ride is 10-15 minutes over the hillside of Batu and the view is fantastic. When we were there we met somebody who is taking a paragliding course of about 40 flights and we were told that when you do, you'll start flying by yourself right from your first flight. Whattt??

For a short weekend trip, Batu is really fun and it provides a mixture of adventure and theme park kind of trip. The weather is lovely and can be a bit chilly at night. The air is crisp and fresh. Definitely one refreshing break for a Jakartan.

Self Image

Let me get it out there: saya berasa punya masalah dengan self image sudah cukup lama. Jangan ditanya gara-gara apa, karena saya ga tau juga sebab mustababnya. Orang sering bilang saya ini pintar, tapi saya tidak merasa seperti itu sayangnya. Saya pun dengan cepat sering membanding-bandingkan apa yang saya punya dengan orang lain. Seperti pepatah klasik yang bilang bahwa rumput tetangga selalu lebih hijau. Bukan, bukan secara materi; saya cukup sederhana, tidak (selalu) mengejar uang. Tapi lebih kepada kemampuan, kepercayaan diri, kenyamanan orang lain terhadap dirinya sendiri. Padahal mungkin saya ga tau kalau dibalik semua yang saya lihat, mungkin orang itu juga memiliki pemikiran dan perasaan yang berbeda terhadap dirinya sendiri.

Saya kira, saya bukan satu-satunya orang yang mengalami masalah ini. Sering karena self image saya yang tidak baik saya merasakan ketakutan-ketakutan tertentu yang belum tentu terjadi. Contohnya, ketakutan kalau orang lain lihat kerja saya tidak baik, atau presentasi saya jelek dan ga make sense. Atau saya sebagai pribadi yang tidak menyenangkan. Bisa saja itu betul, tapi sering kali ternyata itu sekedar asumsi-asumsi saja. Jadi pemikiran saya sudah lebih dahulu lompat ke sesuatu yang bukan kenyataan.

Mengalami stress, ketidaknyamanan, ketakutan, semua itu bagian dari kehidupan. Semakin lama saya semakin baik dalam menghadapinya, tapi kadang, seperti orang kecanduan, saya relapse kembali ke lingkaran tersebut.

Bulan ini bulan Prapaskah, yaitu 40 hari masa pantang puasa sebelum hari raya Paskah. Tadinya, saya pengen ga makan daging selama 40 hari itu. Tapi karena satu dan lain hal (suatu hari saya laper banget dan makan sate ayam), akhirnya niat itu terbatalkan. Jadilah saya hanya melakukan sesuatu yang minim saja yaitu pantang daging di hari Jumat. Tapi sepertinya, Tuhan ingatkan saya dengan cara yang lain; bukan melalui pantang/puasa, tapi melalui perasaan-perasaan saya yang kurang mengenakkan ini. Saya yang merasa tertekan, mau ga mau tidak melihat cara lain selain jadi banyak doa (sambil mewek kadang-kadang :) ).

Kalau saya doa kadang-kadang saya mikir juga, emangnya Tuhan itu peduli juga ya sama masalah saya di kantor. Kok kayak ga ada sesuatu lain yang lebih penting aja gitu. Atau dia kesel kali ya sama kemanjaan dan kecengengan saya, terus pengen digampar gitu rasanya: Plis deh.. segini aja itu ngga susahhhh! Nanti kapan-kapan dikasih yang susah!

Untungnya Tuhan yang saya kenal itu adalah Tuhan yang sabar. Tuhan yang nungguin bangsa Israel muter-muter 40 tahun sampai akhirnya mereka baru bisa dikasih jalan keluarnya, Tuhan yang sebelum wafatnya masih berhadapan dengan murid-murid terdekatnya yang masih ngga ngerti-ngerti juga ternyata, Tuhan yang peduli dengan perintilan kayak burung merpati dan biji sesawi. Dan juga Tuhan yang ngerti dengan segala ketakutan kita.

Salah satu tokoh yang saya paling suka adalah Nabi Musa. Bukan karena dia taat, atau dengan kerennya membelah laut pakai tongkat saktinya itu. Tapi karena dia orangnya tidak pedean, sama kayak saya, merasa kayaknya orang-orang lain lebih bagus kok, saya ga bisa begini begitu, orang lain bisa. Di awal Tuhan pilih dia, dia bilang,"Ah, Tuhan aku ini tidak pandai bicara, dahulu pun tidak, dan sejak Engkau berfirman pada hambaMu pun tidak, sebab aku berat mulut dan berat lidah." Setelah itu pun dia masih suruh Tuhan untuk mengutus yang lain aja.

Sangat relatable buat saya. Sering saya bilang ngga bisa ini dan ngga bisa itu. Banyak alasan, banyak ketakutan, banyak penghindaran. Saya lupa kalau saya ga akan pernah ditinggalkan. Bukan hanya itu, saya lupa kalau saya ini gambaran Tuhan, dan Dia ada di dalam saya. Di tengah semuanya ini, saya lari ke sebuah penghiburan yang sering menghabiskan duit: beli buku secara impulsif. Sebuah buku yang dikarang oleh salah satu penyanyi favorit saya, Nichole Nordeman. Saya suka banget lirik-liriknya dan pas tau dia ternyata nulis buku, tentunya saya harus beli. Judulnya The Story. Dan buku ini adalah companion dari CDnya yang juga berjudul The Story. Salah satu babnya menceritakan Musa, dan kemudian saya dengerin lagunya (tentunya pas dengerin saya hiks hiks). Judul lagunya It Must Be You.

Secuplik dari lagunya bilang bgini:

O God of parting water; God of falling bread
If my words should falter, will You speak instead?
You must see something good, You must see something true
It must be You
It must be You...

If there’s any part of my shaking heart to see this journey through
It must be You; it must be You
Must be You; it must be You

Mungkin saya ga akan pernah jadi pribadi yang kokoh, sampai ke tahap percaya dirinya David dihadapan raksasa, atau seberani Ahok di depan bapak-bapak DPRD, atau bahkan semenyenangkan teman-teman lainnya. Mungkin saya tetap merasakan ketidaknyamanan di situasi yang biasa saja buat orang lain. Tapi kalau itu yang dibutuhkan supaya saya tetep ingat Tuhan dan bergantung sama Dia, mungkin nggak papa juga, sampai saatnya saya bener-bener ngerti gambar diri saya yang sebenarnya dan dikeluarkan dari "40 tahun di padang gurun" versi hidup saya.

Tapi selama saya belum keluar, semoga terngiang-ngiang lagu karangan Nichole ini: Jika ada bagian dari hatiku yang gemetaran ini yang dapat menghadapi perjalanan ini, pastilah itu DiriMu.

Selamat PraPaskah.

Refleksi Harpitnas

Tinggal di Jakarta itu tidak gampang. Bukan rahasia bahwa seorang lulusan sarjana pun sekarang ini sangat susah untuk mendapatkan pekerjaan. Kalau pun mendapatkan pekerjaan, mungkin gajinya tidak setimpal dengan investasi pendidikannya, juga tidak dapat memenuhi kebutuhan hidup yang layak. Jika si karyawan itu belum menikah, mungkin masih dapat menikmati hidup dengan gajinya meskipun hal dasar seperti cicilan mobil dan rumah belum mampu. Tapi jika sudah menikah, apalagi mempunyai anak, pasti akan terasa sangat berat dengan pengeluaran segunung dan pemasukan seadanya.

Tidak heran di Jakarta banyak pengemis dan pekerja serabutan. Apa saja asal tidak mencuri. Beberapa hari yang lalu, saya pulang dari luar kota dan hendak naik Damri dari bandara. Ketika bus datang, saya cepat-cepat menuju bus untuk naik. Hanya sekitar 5 meter dari bus, seorang pemuda datang, "Mbak, Rawamangun, ya?". Saya mengangguk dan dengan cepat dia menarik tas yang sedang saya angkat dan menuju ke bus. Saya setengah kaget dan mengikuti dia dengan terburu-buru pula. Setelah naik bus, dia meletakan tas saya di tempat bagasi dan menunjukkan bangku kosong ke saya. "Mas, apa sih, saya kan ga minta diangkatin!" hardik saya begitu ada kesempatan. Dia berdiri di sebelah bangku saya, "Mbak, bantu-bantu saja, Mbak," katanya. Entah kenapa marah saya sedikit mereda. Kemungkinan besar karena kesopanan di nadanya yang meminta. Saya keluarkan uang kecil tetap sambil cembetut kesal, dan dia pun turun dari bus setelah itu.

Di perjalanan pulang, saya berfikir. Di terminal bandara, ada berpuluh-puluh orang yang bekerja seperti itu. Yang naik Damri, kebanyakan tidak mungkin membawa koper-koper besar. Kalaupun iya, masih bisa pakai trolley. Berapa besar kemungkinan si Mas tersebut akan dipergunakan jasanya? Kalau dia tidak nekat mengambil inisiatif dengan mengangkat paksa dan meminta uang, dari mana dia mendapatkan "customer"? Saya jadi lebih bisa mengapresiasi si Mas yang masih mau bekerja, meskipun sedikit kurang sopan; yang masih mau menunggu di bandara, berharap ada yang bisa digarap. Si Mas yang tidak malu lagi, tidak berpikir kata orang, yang penting uang halal.

Memang betul rasanya, semakin kepepet, semakin kita tidak malu-malu lagi. Belakangan ini saya memegang kupon voucher untuk meminta sumbangan bagi Jambore Sahabat Anak. Jambore Sahabat Anak adalah acara 2 hari 1 malam bagi anak-anak jalanan dan marjinal untuk berkemah, bermain, dan mendapatkan inspirasi dari workshop-workshop yang diberikan. Untuk membiayai acara ini yang dihadiri 1000 anak dan 500 pendamping, uang dibutuhkan sangat banyak. Maka dari itu kami menjual voucher sumbangan ini. Terus terang, saya selalu malu-malu ketika menawarkan voucher ini ke teman-teman, tidak enakan hati, segan untuk meminta orang, walaupun saya sangat meyakini bahwa acara ini bermanfaat. Saya pun jadi banyak merefleksikan hal ini, kenapa kok saya pemalu sekali untuk mencari dana?

Suatu malam saya dan beberapa teman sedang makan di Yoshinoya. Kemudian saya mengeluarkan kupon voucher itu dan menawarkannya, "Eh, mau ga nyumbang? Untuk acara Jambore anak jalanan nih." Saya merasa sebagai penodong. Teman saya memberi 20 ribu rupiah, kemudian bertanya, "Lo masih pegang berapa kupon lagi emang?" Saya jawab, ada 15, masing-masing Rp. 10.000. Kemudian dia bilang, "Kalau lo tawarin ke semua orang-orang ini," katanya menunjuk para pengunjung Yoshinoya, "pasti langsung habis, deh." Muka saya langsung mengerut ngeri. "Hahh??? Jangan lah... mengganggu gitu, malu banget, kan ga kenal!" Dengan santainya teman saya bilang, "Sini sini gw tawar-tawarin ke mereka, tapi lo dibelakang gw, jadi kalo ditanya-tanya tentang acaranya lo bisa jawab." Saya panik, "Serius lo???" Singkat cerita, kami pun nekat. Percobaan pertama pada sepasang kekasih yang waktu teman saya memberi kalimat pembuka, "Permisi, kami dari Sahabat Anak...", si cowo langsung mengangkat tangannya, "Ga mau..", kemudian beranjak pergi. Kami bengong berdua. Percobaan kedua adalah pada sebuah keluarga dengan dua anak. Si bapak melirik istri, kami merayu si tante, dan akhirnya dia mengeluarkan 20 ribu. Yayyy kami berhasil!!!

Itu lah ceritanya pertama kali saya meminta-minta pada orang yang saya ga kenal. Rasanya deg-degan, malu, ga enak hati, semua bercampur. Mau ga mau saya ingat dengan adik-adik di Sahabat Anak sendiri yang banyak bekerja di jalanan, mengamen ataupun langsung meminta uang. Mungkin pertama-tama ketika mereka ikut dengan teman, saudara, atau orang tuanya, mereka juga merasakan hal yang sama. Tapi setelah dilakukan berulang-ulang, setiap hari, semua rasa itu pasti hilang. Tidak ada lagi rasa malu, penolakan menjadi biasa, jalanan menjadi rumah, semua orang menjadi sumber nafkah. Gampang, tidak ada bos, tidak perlu keterampilan apa pun, semakin kecil justru semakin banyak uang. Dan masih halal pula uangnya. Tapi menurut saya mereka benar-benar kehilangan harga diri.

Saya tau kenapa saya malu-malu: karena harga diri saya tinggi, saya belum bisa meminta sesuatu tanpa bekerja, saya jauh lebih bernilai daripada belas kasihan orang. Bagi adik-adik yang sudah mengadahkan tangan dari umur yang sangat kecil, harga diri mereka terampas. Pekerjaan full-time mereka adalah menuntut untuk dikasihani. Butuh bertahun-tahun untuk memperbaiki cara fikir mereka terhadap kehidupan, menimbulkan kembali perasaan-perasaan yang telah dikebalkan.

Dari roleplay kecil saya sebagai seorang peminta-minta, saya mengintip sedikit ke dalam kehidupan seorang pengemis. Kalau hidup saya bergantung pada menjual kupon voucher, saya pun pasti tidak akan malu lagi. Dan kalau keterpurukan saya adalah sumber uang saya, saya pun akan rela untuk menjadi terpuruk. Maka dari itu saya jadi belajar, jika para pengemis dan anak jalanan mengandalkan belas kasihan saya, saya tidak boleh mengasihani mereka, tapi mengasihi saja. Mungkin kasih roti lalu duduk bareng 5 menit untuk ngobrol, atau kasih susu, atau memberikan "tips" yang lebih besar bagi mereka yang bekerja serabutan. Saya pikir saya juga akan senang, loh, kalau menawari voucher lalu ada yang ngajak ngobrol lebih.

Di Jakarta, semua orang berusaha, saya mengerti. Mudah-mudahan saya ingat itu kalau melihat para tukang parkir, para joki 3 in 1, porter-porter liar bandara, pengamen, dan bahkan pengemis-pengemis yang "hanya" mengadahkan tangan.