On Travelling Solo

To say that I'm enjoying these three months is an understatement. Before I went, I knew that I would be travelling quite a bit. On my first day of work, I found that there was no other interns in my building. Then I knew that I would be travelling alone. With my lousy friend-making skills and my often lagging adaptation period, it was doomed to happen. I had actually predicted a little of this and had searched articles on female solo travellers and the various topics on Europe backpacking trips. But not until I jumped in the experience that I knew the joys and miseries of flying solo.

First of all let me address the issue of being alone. In this interconnected world where networking becomes the golden ticket to success and teamwork is the overarching theme in interview questions, I feel like doing things by yourself is very much frowned upon. My first solo trip was a day trip to Gruyere, about 2 hours away from Geneva. Some people immediately asked, you went alone? And muttered a comment, how weird. On my last trip to Rome, one of my colleagues asked, do you have any friends there, to which I said no. She said I was brave but my sensitive self caught her expression saying, "why would you go only by yourself." In a way, for me, it is mainly the reactions from other people that cause my heart to have doubts. Damn, I am weird and I don't have friends. But, putting all those aside, there are also the internal voices reminding me of the discomforts of having no companion. Those are the ones I worry about; myself hindering myself, because no one else can help me on that.

I was once discussing all this stuff about being alone in general with a friend who was a single guy. He said that for him weekends were the hardest, because you felt like doing something but everyone else were out on a date. Going with them was like being a nuisance but staying at home felt like a total loser. So, I gave the mindless suggestion of being carefree and just go out by yourself. The next week in all his excitement, he came back saying that he took a shot at watching a movie in a cinema alone, amidst the dating couples. I seriously had a laugh fit at him. I couldn't believe that he actually did it! But I was oh so very proud of him, knowing that I myself may never gather my skin thick enough to do that. It's funny isn't how we almost always need somebody else to be able to feel comfortable with ourselves. This, however, is exactly the kind of challenge faced in a solo travel. Will you be carefree enough to enjoy being with yourself while others seem to have a good time being in comfortable cliques? Laughing away, chattering, supporting each other's existance in multi-way conversations?

So let's start with the hard stuff. For me, the main down time activity is having a meal. This is when conciousness comes from all corners of the mind, congressing in a summit, discussing what things should be done while eating alone. Do you eat and stare at your food or just stare at the wall while having an internal discussion with inner self within your brain? What do you do while waiting for the food to come out? In this awkward situation, I usually go over the pictures in my camera and read a book. Never mind the fellow visitors looking at you with pity in their eyes wondering if your boyfriend stood you up, you won't see them ever again in your life. And if the waiter gives you a hard time, slash and burn the tip. And if there is a newly wed on their honeymoon sitting right next to you, dining while holding each other's hands, do yourself a favor and look the other way.

Safety is the next important issue to address. Being a five feet tall girl, it is obviously pertinent that I stay away from anything that smells like trouble. Some things can be carried as a protective weapon, like pepper spray, that proves to be effective against the Occupy protesters, or a Swiss Army knife. An umbrella can be a useful weapon too as a distraction or a visible power shield. Or you can poke it around haphazardly like a panic en guard athlete hoping that somehow it will strike a vital point of the attacker. But, seriously, take care of yourself and avoid anything that might be causing you a lot of headache. Remember that you are not at home, things can get real complicated real fast.

Now that damaging self-consciousness and safety have been dealt with, we can talk about the fun stuff. For me the most liberating part is I am able to construct my itinerary perfectly just as my liking. If let's say I am going to Paris, no matter what you say, I will not enter Louvre. No, not with that snaking queue just to see the Monalisa painting that everybody said to be a lot smaller than what is imagined. I am not an artsy person. It's hard for me to understand paintings and see the beauty in them. What I want to do is be touristy and take pictures of the outside of Louvre, and move on to the next attraction. With only myself to consider, I am able to do this. After the perfect itinerary has been set, I am free to break any single thing on the schedule, because there is no such thing as a perfect itinerary. When in Rome, after walking the whole day on Saturday and coming home late, I decided that I wanted to sleep in on Sunday morning. Yes, knowing consciously that I was in Rome and I probably never go back again ever (no, I did not toss a coin in Trevi fountain). Now, if I am traveling with my parents, for example, I will never be allowed to do that.

I also have to say that traveling alone has heightened my level of awareness. Being the last child in the family, I tend to surrender my fate to anybody older than me (or just anybody). I tend to be the follower. But in solo travel, I am responsible for everything from knowing exactly where the hotel is to making sure I understand what I see. Awareness in this case is very much related to self reflections and formations of opinions. The time not spent talking to the travel partners, I spend it on people watching. In Rome, I was thinking a lot about how the city is one huge tourists magnet and how people swarmed into these churches, but when it was time to use them as what they are, the eucharistic mass, the crowd disappeared. You know, things like that that would probably escape my mind had I not travel alone. People watching is a great mind exercise.

Just with anything that is unorthodox to you, at first solo travel seems to be scary. However, it feels great to give your fears a shock once in a while by saying, "to hell with you, I'm doing this!" There is still one more solo trip to Barcelona and of course I am so looking forward. By this time, traveling alone does not feel so weird anymore and I've thicken some more skin to not be so shy when eating by myself. Been there, done that.

But after all things weighed in, I've decided that long term solo travels are actually not for me. Weekend trips are fine, and it has certainly been a great experience. After this "Geneva phase" I am open to doing it again for maybe traveling around Indo or Southeast Asia if there is an opportunity. But I am also looking forward to fun group trips where togetherness becomes a priority over the places visited and the new things discovered. As long as we're together right? That's all that matters.

But for now, let me be self-absorbed and give myself a pat on the back for trying something new and trampling over a fear.

What are we to do in this world but to search for a view?