Time to Let Go

Very recently I did something that reminds me of Toy Story 3. I gave up my children books collection. It's bittersweet because my books are something I hold close to my heart. They were my source of entertainment, the things that shaped my thoughts and my interest for writing, they were my close friends, my night guard, my joy. Yet for the past many years they had been nothing but decorations. It's the memories that I hold on to, to the experiences for which they had been my silent witnesses. Just like Andy, when he gave out Woody and Buzz, there's a part of him that longs to keep them, yet he knows that it's out of selfishness. He finally understands that Woody and Buzz have to continue to fulfill their destinies as toys: to be played with. On the same ground, I'm giving out my books so that they can do what they do best: to be read.

It's always hard to let go something or someone that you love. When you give it out to someone else, you can't help but wonder, if that someone else will take care your stuff as well as you did? Will they appreciate it as much? Will I be able to move on just fine?

After Jesus has died and risen, he told Mary Magdalene when she came out to weep on His tomb: "Stop holding on to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father. But go to my brothers and tell them, I am going to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God." I can imagine that if I were Mary, and I realized that it was Jesus that I met as a gardener, I would also cling on Him as long as I could. But she was told to let Him go, to do something else instead. She was told to let go of Jesus who were in a human form, to wait until He had completely go to the Father, and then she could keep Him forever close to her inner being. She had the task to also "give out" Jesus to other people and not just for herself.

People say that giving feels a whole lot better than receiving. True, if you are giving something you don't need. When you go out distributing food for the homeless, or giving money for charity, or giving time for volunteering, you do feel good. But, that's what you give out of abundance, when you are trimming you fats. It feels a lot different when you are giving out of poverty, when what you give is something that you really love or really need. But, you do it anyways because it's the right thing to do. Sometimes, the hard thing is the right thing.

Although the motivation behind giving is not to get something in return, I believe that when we give, we'll get something back. It's only by creating space, letting go of some things, will we have a place to put something new. Some thing that we did not even know before because our heart is too full with our histories.